Easy coming, easy going, they say. Once the judge dismissed Kyle Rittenhouse’s case against Whoopi Goldberg, at the very least, that is what they ought to be telling the famous actress.
At his showcase trial, Goldberg and her coworkers from The View are accused of making statements to the media and defaming the young man. The small, chubby punisher is suing for $80 million in compensation.
With its twelve bedrooms, thirteen bathrooms, pool, sauna, basketball court, bowling alley, and four-foot-circumference golf course, Goldberg’s Beverly Hills estate, known as “Ten Forward” by her staff and friends, is valued at over $35 million.
After only sixteen minutes of discussion, Judge Sandy Batt reached her decision in the case yesterday and gave Rittenhouse the whole amount he was asking. The mansion was declared “malleable property proceeds” pending asset liquidation and was delivered right away.
After expressing shock at the court’s decision and promising to appeal, Goldberg was quickly arrested, restrained by a huge crucifix, and shot three times by the plaintiff in clear self-defense.
For his part, the young, now-millionaire Rittenhouse spoke to the assembled reporters outside the Bowling Green Queefville Justice Center.
, he smile ,, “I bought me a great huge house, now. “I’m going to play laser tag inside, masturbate to John Wick movies all day, and eat a lot of casseroles with cheese!” Yahoo!”